We’re living in a world where it’s impossible to thrive without other people surrounding us. We are humans who need each other to be able to survive whether we like it or not. We need friends, family and people we can hold on to during tough times.
However, there are people who are only in our lives for their own interests. And we call them fake friends. Here are 3 red flags to spot ‘The Fake Bestie’!
1. They Deliberately Insult Or Hurt Your feelings in front of others
Do they pick on your imperfections and embarrass you in front of people? Do they repeatedly rub it on your face in front of others? If they do, then they are not your person. It’s certainly okay to joke around friends and laugh at each other. But there should be some boundaries! A decent human being, wouldn’t just go around and crush other people’s self-esteem. If they are truly your friends, they wouldn’t do any of that especially around other people. They know how you’re already struggling with some of your flaws that you oh-so-hate. If they go around rubbing it on your face instead of consoling you, then they’re definitely not for keeps. Jokes are fine but it should be something you could all laugh about, not something that hurts the other person. It’s never acceptable to laugh at the expense of others.
Do they correct your grammar, fashion choices or anything they find wrong, in front of others too? If they do, you seriously need to re-think if they are really your friends. I mean, it’s okay to correct someone and laugh about it afterwards. But if they’re doing it just to embarrass you and step on you, then you need to ask yourself if they are really what you need in your life. If they want to correct your wrongs, they should at least tell you in private. Not in a degrading way. Jokes can only go so much. Beyond that, it’s already a deliberate act to play with your already low self-esteem. Friends should be people who will help you feel better about yourself. Not the other way around.
2. They Are Not Happy For Your Achievements
If they think you’re too ambitious or too much of a dreamer, then let them go.
You don’t need that kind of negativity when you’re struggling to be the best that you can be. You’re trying to build an empire by yourself but they tell you to quit at first attempt. They keep on discouraging you to build the life you want. And when you’re finally making strides, they tell you you’re not good enough and that you won’t be happy. They clearly want to pull you down because they know that they will stay where they are and will never get beyond that point in their lives. They are too envious of your success that they don’t even utter a single word of appreciation for you, instead, they feed on your mistakes and wait for more just so they can throw it at you.
Simply put, they are poisonous people. They exhaust your mind and toy with your emotions. They certainly want to see you fail and quit. They are toxic for your soul and extremely poisonous for your spirit. They need to be reminded to mind their own thing so you can do yours in peace. They are not really your friends if they’re not happy for your victories. If they constantly spot the bad instead of affirming the good, and don’t even show an ounce of remorse for hurting you, then they need to go.
3. They Only Need You If They Think They Can Benefit From You
The literal translation of the famous phrase “friends with benefits.”
They are with you when you have a lot to offer. They know you’re too much of a softy to say no to any of their whims and caprices so they attack your soft side for their own benefit. They know you’re nice and all so they take advantage of it. They’re never absent when you have a lot but you barely hear from them when you’re the one in dire need.
They are never ashamed nor hesitant to ask for favors of any kind. They borrow money, clothes and more. But they go MIA (Missing In Action) the moment they smell that you’re in a bad shape and that you’re about to ask them the same favor.
These people are only good when you have loads of things to give. But when the tables are turned and you’ve got nothing to give anymore, they abandon you like they don’t know you. And the worst part, they’re happy for your downfall. They act like they are loyal but stabs you right where it hurts.
Spot these kind of people in your circle and by all means, let them go. You only need a few friends who will cheer you on during better and worst days. The ones you can truly count on.
The people you hang out with influences you in one way or another. You gotta be careful in choosing who to keep around. As I always say, negativity is contagious and sometimes we don’t even notice it affecting us. But it does. It wears you out and before you know it, you’re left with nothing because you’re too nice tending to people who are not willing to go the extra mile for you even when you are willing to do so. It is true that you can’t expect everyone to treat you the way you want to be treated. So always, keep the ones who understands where you’re coming from and the ones who keeps you company because they want to not because of anything they can get from you.
You know what they say, quality is better than quantity. It’s better to keep a few good friends to have fun with than have tons who feed on your misery and celebrates it. Hold a few friends close and remove the ones who hinders your growth. Arm yourself with few nice people who will help you be a better version of yourself. Life is about holding each other up not pulling each other down.
Always be mindful of the red flags and go on with your life away from these people. Life is much better when spent with the right people who deserves your time.