Love Ain’t A Competition

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What exactly does love means? What particular act can you do to call it love?

Thruth is, love as abstract as it is, remains a mystery to most of us. It is something no one can truly define. It’s easy to say you’re in love when you say those magical three words to someone, or when one goes out of their way to make everything right for you, or when you get butterflies in your tummy just by looking deep into each other’s eyes. Surely, those are few of the things that makes your giddy-self say you’re in love. We’ve all been there and there’s some truth to it.

However, many relationships don’t succeed because one can’t fathom what real love truly is. Some people don’t understand the extent of it. They put an end to a relationship when they no longer feel all the “sparks”. Tons of relationships fail because one cannot stand the thought of his/her ego getting crushed by loving the other more. They get so disturbed by the feeling of having to do more and loving more than the other can give. When everything goes steady and all the butterflies have flown away, they give up simply because they no longer feel the “emotional connection” they once had.

The thing is, love isn’t just about that “connection”. When you say “I love you” to someone, it entails sacrifice, surrender and most of all—understanding that it won’t always be a walk in the park. The butterflies will eventually go away and the connection will sometimes wane. There will be days when you’d question your choices and despise the man you once shamelessly offered your entire life to. Some days, you’ll be weeping in the corner and think of leaving everything behind.

Yes, it will happen. But, love is love. One don’t just say ‘I love you’ without fully understanding every bumps that comes with it.

Love is a choice you make in life. It’s as hard as choosing your career path. Some of your misery in life will depend on your choice of a partner. And so does your happiness.

Choosing to love amidst catastrophe, is real love. It is when you decide to forget about the butterflies and work on your differences to better the relationship. Love means surrendering yourself wholeheartedly. It’s sacrificing without inhibitions and accepting the person for who he is or isn’t. It means facing hurdles and dodging bullets without letting go of each other’s hand.

It’s easy to say ‘I Love You’ in the beginning of the relationship. However, the real challenge is if you can still look them in the eye and say the same thing when everything seems to go downhill. Ain’t easy right? Some traits you found adorable at the start of the relationship becomes a tad bit disturbing as time goes by. You will sometimes compare your significant other to your friend’s S.O, and that’s perfectly fine. It happens. But you have to create a mental note to still be thankful of the great things he has given you and has done for you. Your significant other may not be as sweet or as romantic like he used to be, but that’s life! Everything changes, and so are people.

Choose to focus on the positive things like how he carry heavy grocery bags for you or how he fixes everything in the house, etc. Love is not about comparing as to who does more and who loves more. It’s not about who loves less and who cares less. Simply put, Love ain’t a competition. You are not in it to win and get ahead of the other. You are in it as a team. You have to decide to win together!

So what if you love your partner more than he/she loves you? The moment you chose to love, you’ve embraced every ugly side of it. Again, love is love. It doesn’t count and it certainly doesn’t back down from a battle.

It’s easier said than done, I know. But embrace it for what it is. Choose to be loving and accepting. There’s no greater reward in this world than our capacity to love and be loved. At the end of it all, we will always be bounded by love, and nothing else.

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